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| shit this xanga interface has completely changed. what the hell is this words?
anyways
my, has it been two years, three months and twenty-two days already?
anyways, i'm returning the bagel to it's original location. (an aside: this hyperlink making tool is retarded! what is this, web 1.9?)
the reason for the revival is several-fold. if i am not too lazy to go back to that previous sentence when i am completed with the following list, i will change several-fold to whatever number-fold my list reveals, but whatver, i've invested enough time in this sentence now, so several-fold will have to suffice.
1) i've been paying for the domain and hosting, i may as well use it.
2) i'm forgetting how to write in complete sentences. surely blagging will help that.
3) people don't know what the hell is going on with me and i'm waaay too lazy to email/call/talk.
does three count as several?
4) blog communities freak me out, specifically the aggregation of information (or non-information, as it were) that blog communities provide. at least from my own corner of the interwebiverse, i can sit atop my tufted pillow like the empress-dowager of the internet that i am, and decree decree decree my ass off without worry that i'm polluting someone's xanga-subs or livejournal friends page. (unless they're using a third-party blog compiler like google reader or kinja or something, in which case i'm shit out of luck.)
how about four? four = several?
5) there is no five. i decree that four = several. | | |
| Your dating personality profile:
Liberal
- Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your
left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a
conservative candidate.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion
sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with
someone who doesn't care about his appearance.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. | Your date match profile:
Practical
- You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy,
materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler
side of living.
Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a
conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a
conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.
Outgoing -
Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone
with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship. | Your Top Ten Traits
1. Liberal
2. Stylish
3. Big-Hearted
4. Practical
5. Shy
6. Funny
7. Intellectual
8. Sensual
9. Romantic
10. Adventurous
| Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Practical
2. Conservative
3. Outgoing
4. Big-Hearted
5. Sensual
6. Adventurous
7. Stylish
8. Intellectual
9. Funny
10. Athletic
|
Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions
*edit*
the results are pretty interesting. at first glance they seem pretty
off the wall, but if i interpret them side by side, it kinda makes
sense to me.
my interpretation: i like someone who is more conservative than me, but
not as conservative (#2) as i am liberal (#1). true. i like guys who
are, above all else, practical, and most probably, a little more
practical than me (#1 vs. #4). true. i like guys that are outgoing
(#3), because i am rather shy (#5). true. as such, i like guys that are
more sensual (#5 vs. #8) and adventurous (#6 vs. #10) than me . true.we
should be pretty evenly matched in the big-heartedness (#3 vs. #4).
true. i like guys who are stylish (#7) but not as stylish as me
(#2). true. i like someone who is fairly evenly matched with me
intellectually (#7), but not so closely that they would win arguments
against me (#8). true. (how else can i convince him of my liberal
agenda?) a funny guy (#9) is always good, but hell, i like to be the
funny one in a relationship (#6). and of course, i need a guy who will
go to the batting cages with me (#10) even though i suck (not ranked!).
TRUE.
| | |
| a few brief observations.
i realized last night that this crumby porno dvd i have has all of the
live audio (grunting, pounding, ohbabyohbabyohbaby etc.) flattened into
the left channel, and the music (bowchickabowbow) on the right. so
while using headphones, i could effectively just listen to the grunting
and moaning rather than sit through the crumby music. it's interesting
how often the live audio just cuts out all together, or how often it
doesn't synch up to the video.
this morning the office manager asked the crazy intern to make coffee.
he asked me if i wanted some and i was like, sure why not. a few
minutes later i hear my boss in the kitchen all like OMG WHAT ARE YOU
DOING, IS THE COFFEE MAKER BROKEN? and i was like, ...., and then a
couple minutes later the other intern brought me a cup of coffee. i was
like, um, what was going on with this coffee, and the other intern was
like oh [intern] was making coffee by heating water in a pot and
pouring it over a filter full of coffee into cups. oh hell. that's just
indicative of this intern.
the coffee is great tho.
| | |
| Ben and Jerry's is having a raise a flavor from the grave
promotion on their website! Please help me bring Cool Brittania back
from the dead! (Vanilla Ice Cream with Strawberries and Fudge-covered
shortbread pieces!!!!!)
| | |
| day four and five in japan can be lumped into the same category of 'i spent them with my great-aunt and great-uncle.'
after my wild gay ride, i had to run back to my hotel to check out, and
meet my uncle in the lobby. i had never met him in my entire life, nor
had i ever seen a picture, and i had somehow overlooked this until now
despite everyone having asked me 'so how are you going to recognize
your uncle when you see him?'
i mistook two other older japanese men for him before i stumbled upon
him. but finally i saw this older japanese woman giving me a sour look
and i noted the strong resemblance to my grandma's sour look, so i went
to confirm that it was them.
though my uncle spoke english, auntie couldn't speak or understand at
all. i explained to her in japanese that i could understand pretty
well, but that my speaking was not so good. and in truth, there isn't
that much japanese you really need to understand when dealing with
grandma/grandpa type figures. i found that 9 out of 10 things she was
saying to me were "are you okay?" "aren't you cold?" "put on your
jacket" and "do you want a drink?"
we took a train to shimoda hot springs, which is apparently where
commodore perry landed and first opened up japan to the western world
oh so many years ago. i had been wary about this trip since my uncle
had mentioned it to me because i had heard that tattoos were sometimes
forbidden and quite often frowned upon in public baths/hot springs. but
more than that i just didn't want to be sitting next to my naked 75
year old uncle swabbing myself down with a little white towel sitting
on top of a bucket. oh, and i also don't know how to say "this is a
nipple piercing, old man," in japanese.
so for all these reasons and more i ended up not going to the public bath with said uncle.
the view in shimoda was wonderful, but the food was horrible. i felt
really bad though, since this whole trip was costing my uncle a small
fortune, so i ate everything.
auntie and uncle seem to be under the impression that i am 12 years
old. aside from constantly insisting that i put on my jacket, and
checking to see if i want a soda everytime we pass a soda machine, and
pulling candy out of her purse for me every hour on the hour, auntie
and uncle also decided that we should forego the historic sites of
shimoda like the first american embassy, and the scenic views, and
instead just GO TO THE AQUARIUM AND SEE THE DOLPHINS!
auntie was actually super excited about this. so much so that in the
end, she went to the gift shop and bought me a
novelty-spinning-dolphin-stands-on-your-table-and-really-does-nothing-mobile-spinny
type thingy. it's pretty bizarre. but the dolphin show was fun! me and
the other five people that were there had a great time!
from there we headed back to Saitama-ken, where they live. they didn't
have space for me in their tiny apartment, so they were putting me up
in a hotel in nearby Kawagoe.
the whole time i was with my auntie and uncle they would absolutely not
believe that i could read or understand ANY japanese whatsoever,
despite the fact that i kept telling them that i could, and was
demonstrating such at every oppurtunity. auntie kept telling me stories
about when she had visited the US and would finish the story and i
would be like I UNDERSTAND THAT WAS VERY INTERESTING, and then she
would turn to uncle and in japanese be all like HE DOESN"T UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M SAYING. then we were at a restaurant and the menu was all in
japanese and i was like I WANT HIREKATSU TO EBI FURAI TEISHOKU, like
reading it, and pointing at it on the menu and my aunt turns to my
uncle and is like READ THE MENU TO HIM, HE CAN'T READ IT and i was like
NO IT'S OKAY, I WANT HIREKATSU AND EBI FURAI, and my uncle was like, OH
THAT'S HIREKATSU AND EBI FURAI, and i was like, I KNOW, and he's like,
THAT'S BREADED PORK TENDERLOIN AND FRIED SHRIMP, and i'm like I KNOW,
THAT'S WHAT I WANTED. it was delicious.
i was surprised to find out when we got to Saitama that my uncle
actually drives, and has a really new car. Up until this point they had
been taking the train everywhere, i guess because it's so hard to drive
in Tokyo, where i was staying.
the thing about japan is that i don't understand how anyone drives
there. the streets are all WAY narrow, people are stopped and parked in
random places, pedestrians are milling around, granted, the streets in
saitama/kawagoe aren't as busy, but i was still impressed that my uncle
could negotiate these tough streets.
i was literally just having that thought when BAM! my uncle NAILS the
driver's side view mirror on a double parked car with his passenger
side mirror. the other car's mirror was like, dangling by a thread. my
aunt is like OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG in the back and i'm just
stunned in the passenger seat and my uncle is like WHAT? NOTHING'S
WRONG WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT without even releasing his
perma-smile. he tests the electronic controls of the mirror, and
upon seeing that it's still functioning on *his* car he's like SEE?
EVERYTHING IS FINE but auntie's still in the back like OMG OMG OMG OMG
OMG OMG OMG.
got to the hotel in one piece, and started packing up my stuff for my last night in japan. this trip felt too short.
the next day my auntie and uncle dropped me off at the airport. as we
were hugging in the security checkpoint, the last thing my auntie says
to me (in japanese) is NEXT TIME YOU COME, LEARN MORE JAPANESE.
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